Observations from the Balcony – Themes affecting clients potential this week.

In focus this week: Recognising that “I’ am my biggest obstacle.

In separate sessions this week I had men and women telling me how they struggle to take their seat at the table because when they do, they allow the limitations they carry to make more noise than the confidence in the experience they have gained on the road they have walked to be where they are. The rampant overthinking mind screams messages of being undeserving, of not belonging, of not being good enough, of being an imposter, and unable to speak the truth of this experience. The anxiety and fear that this induces, limits the ability to stay connected and present, which in turn reduces the impact that can be made. The very thing that is feared becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as we tend to behave in a way that will prove the fear right.

I have been heartened to observe that many of these men and women recognise their debilitating inner voice, while at the same time having to really get to grips with when these limiting beliefs and programmes show up, so that they can master their mindset and overwrite the auto-pilot behaviours that have them playing small and choose deliberately to stand in their personal power.

Notably, these experiences tend to occur with up-line engagements where the relationship with authority comes into play.

There are a couple of observations to note here:

1. Individuals need to shift their relationship with authority and the impact it has on their confidence.
2. Leaders need to create environments where people feel safe to deliver their expertise, feel heard and offered constructive feedback in order to grow their contribution. It is not the job of leaders to belittle and undermine people, and if this is happening, then individuals have the right to speak about the impact of this without fear of retribution. (This is a topic for another edition for sure.)

So, what to do:

1. The deep work is to gain a deep understanding of self so that greater levels of awareness of limiting beliefs and unhealthy patterns can be noticed and transcended. We are here to realise the best in ourselves through acknowledging the unhealthy attributes that can inhibit our most extraordinary lives if we let them.
2. Assess how you tend to show up in the face of authority. Often, people tend to revert to Parent – Child styles of relating, which instantly puts one in a position of power and the other in a position of subservience. We need to remember that regardless of title or hierarchy, we are all adults and so our relating should reflect that.
3. Be prepared to have the necessary conversations where you experience undermining, disrespectful, diminishing, micro-aggressive and insulting behaviour. If we keep quiet, the perpetrator is none the wiser, and frankly there is way too much tolerance of poor form in corporations today. We need to help one another become more conscious of the impact being made by behaviour that is hurtful and confidence eroding.
4. Develop the skill of being able to communicate your truth powerfully, without aggression or insult. The reaction or response you get is not controllable, but how you deliver yourself in this world, most certainly is. 

If you are serious about understanding yourself more deeply and you recognise that something within you has to change, you can reach me at [email protected] or book a free session at www.thepotentialityco.com/meetings/ .